lemme holla at'cha

I know, I know. I'm engaged, but I'M NOT DEAD! The newest celebrity crush on my long long list is the one and only Eli Roth. I am fairly certain God made him for me. I saw Inglorious Basterds, and I basically discovered something that was just lying dormant in me all along - a burning love for this beautiful jewish man. He is pretty much the best horror director around. I mean shit, no one will top Cabin Fever as far as I'm concerned. He made it for nothing, made sure everyone got paid before him (he is still not seeing any money from it to this day), made Hostel!!!, has a jaw line sculpted by Jesus Christ himself, and the weird humor that makes me weak in the knees. He is known for being a super nice dude, on top of all that. I mean, I could go on and on about all the bad ass stuff that is Eli Roth, but I will spare you and just let you look that shit up on wikipedia or something. Let's all take a moment to relish in one of his best cameo's in Cabin Fever:



I pour this one out for you, Eli. You seem like you might be a little crazy, and I like that. I leave you with a glimpse into my dreams:

we'd have so much fun

Andy. Andy Samberg. Would you PLEASE just come over and take me on a dream date already? God, I am so into you. You understand how insanely funny early 90's culture and music is, and I like that. I wanna hang out, play with your hair, listen to boys II men and mariah carey's "one sweet day," and make out with you all afternoon long. I am pretty sure you would do nothing but make me laugh, and that is so ultimate. I don't care what anyone says - you are hot as a mug, and totally run it as far as I am concerned. Now lemme holla at'cha.