hello, my name is rachel...

and i am a television addict. Here is what is on the line up for tonight. I can't even believe this night of television. Check it:


We start this evening out with everyone's favorite, DWTS! Only this year, the only thing worth paying attention to is how broke off Kate Gosslin's weave is, and trying to guess what kind of pills Pam Anderson is probably on during the show. I don't really even know who anyone is this year other than those two. But I do love me a good mambo. a waltz is pretty sweet, too. Tonight some australian dude went home, so thankfully there will be no more of Edita and her mostly naked body to make me question my validity as a woman.


Next up: 16 & Preggo. I feel kind of bad when I watch this because there are girls straight up ruining their entire lives. I really appreciate my God fearing parents when I see how hard they all screwed up... but that doesn't keep me from watching some other folk make a big mess of their young adulthood. I'm actually about to see a girl named Lizzie about to get pregnant, cheated on, and stuck with a kid before she graduates. right?!?! All I am gonna say is that young dude do NOT wanna kick it with a baby. I think that's what they should tell girls in teen living class. moving on.


Hey Kendra! I don't have a lot to say about this, other than Kendra still manages to be a Boss even though she just had a babe. She struggles with her body after she has the kid, and it totally makes me feel like even Kendra understands how it feels to hate your thighs. She's a real girl, and I would give anything to be her friend. Go Kendra!



And finally, Tiny and Toya. T.I.'s fiancee and Lil Wayne's ex wife. I did a post on them a while back, and tonight their second season starts back up!!!! My tivo is straight up on fire right now with the hotness. These girls are for real, cause you know T.I. doesn't play. Every white girl needs to have at LEAST a couple of strong black female role models... so your welcome!!!

These are my suggestions for curing a very boring and lonely tuesday night.



In other news, I am currently holding it down in the work place, and my plants are really thriving outside. I am also getting a haircut tomorrow. Also, I am currently awaiting a package from Sunshine over at blogfullofjelly.blogspot.com and I can't believe it. She put up a post about making laptop covers, i holla-ed at her, and voila! dreams came true. I'll be putting that on blast immediately upon arrival.

one love!!!

my my my fan ta ta sy

Here is what I wish my life was like on a daily basis:


Why can't real offices be like the TV show? I don't think I'm asking for much.

Yes, it's January 3rd

And I haven't left the house since new years eve evening. Do I feel pathetic? Only slightly. While I have been home and not at work, I have done nothing but watch TV, shower daily (thank you very much), and eat. Oh yes... one more thing... SEASON 3 OF DEXTER! I didn't want to like this season because it seemed so boring the first five episodes, but DUDE this show has picked back up! I watched the first season a while back, loved it. Watched the second season, ehhh. Started watching the third season, and was about to give up til the last few episodes. I can safely say, though, that the acting on this show is completely busted. AND it doesn't help that the Dexter and his sister Deb are really married in real life. Sorrys, but I can't buy the whole sibling relationship when I know in the back of my mind that the two of you are boning off set. It's gross. Anyway, I wish I didn't know what happened on Season 4's last episode, because I know that shit would have blown my mind if I didn't see it coming. Dexter mixes my two favorite things - forensics and tha drama. I just wish someone would give Deb a sandwich. For real. I could keep going, but I think I have made my point. And Jimmy Smits, rep that shit homes.

i know this is a little late at this point,

But I LOVE THE JERSEY SHORE SO MUCH! This show has rekindled my love for MTV. Are these people even real? I sure hope so, because they make me feel like much less of a failure in general. I don't understand how this is even acceptable. How many STDs do you think this group has collectively had?

Let's get a little bit more specific and discuss the angel known as "Snookie." She is like a oompa loompa made it with a real housewife of new jersey and created a miracle little orange creature. And this girl got straight up punched right in the face by a dude at a bar cause he took her shot and she got up in his grill. MTV probably aired that clip on commercials a zillion times, but then decided to cut it out of the actual episode?! I don't understand why, and it really bummed me out cause she gets POPPED so hard. Do yourself a favor and watch this:



Yeah, it's disturbing the first few times you watch it, but give it a chance. i mean, she IS okay, so it isn't that bad. Anyway, she for real got cracked on. I should probably get out more considering how many times I have seen this clip. guhhh!

stating the obvious?

I know that this is old news in 2009, but Dog the Bounty Hunter is such a pimp. I was kicking it with my mom the other night looking for something to watch on tv, and happened across his show. So I tuned in and got sucked in immediately. That dude is f-o-r-r-e-a-l. He straight up stalks his prey (aka runaway fugitives) and then makes them feel sorry for what they did. Dog's not happy til they are crying!

Lets do a quick rundown of this prince: Dog sports a bleached beautiful mane, dream catcher earring, native american arm bands, BLUETOOTH EARPIECE, and badge all at the same time. Do I even need to mention his collection of vests he wears sans shirt on the reg? didn't think so. p.s. his wife is so sexy i can't stand it. I mean, she is working those big ol boobs like they're real. These two were practically made for each other. So drink it in, pecan blog babies. Give in and revel in his glory. THA BOUNTY HUNTA!

is.this.happening.

okay, i have gone blog crazy tonight, but this just came on t.v. while i was watching the end of return of the living dead... no joke...




i actually said out loud in my room, alone mind you, "oh my god is this really happening right now???" i hope i'm not alone on this one...

do florals make you look thinner?

I am trying to get more floral prints into my life. I am toying with the idea of getting some patterns, but it has been FOREVER since I have had any pattern experience. I need someone to show me? Anyway, I always come across really tight material and I immediately get bummed cause I don't even know how to make something basic.

i also need to admit that i am watching chelsea lately right now, and i am not proud of that, but she can be kind of funny sometimes. it's kind of like watching a drunk aunt or something. anyway, they just showed a commercial on where to get chelsea lately merchandise?! what? who is seriously sporting some CL swag? obviously a slow saturday night. gonna go watch some tru tv.

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

Here is what is happening: ENTOURAGE premier (i bet it kind of sucks... but i hope it's good)/TRUE BLOOD/Daisy of Love is back!!!!! two days. i am such a freak.

treazurez

Usually I totally hate to watch anyone get rich quick... especially when I don't get a cut, but antiques roadshow is my jam. I LOVE LOVE LOVE seeing people's faces when they tell them they hit it big, and I love it even more when the cocky douches who think their junk is gonna make them ballers only to find out it isn't worth SQUAT. This is like reality television for thrift store junkies (guilty!). LOVE it.

Anyway, watch this shit. I totally cried like the PMS ridden girl girl girl that I am when I watched this little old man get his blankie appraised for the first time. It is the perfect case of hoping for the best, expecting the worst, probably deserving the best, and well, JUST WATCH AND DIE!!!

teevee

btdubs,
why is there no good reality television on now besides daisy of love (which is kind of boring on the real), and kendra? cause nothing else is taking me there. take my trash television, take my life. am i going to have to start doing posts about pat sajak on wheel of fortune? i gotta get a life.

RP