Pecan Blog

sorrys!

2010-05-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

It's been a while. I have a tumblr now, sookiesookienow.tumblr.com, so I don't really update this mess anymore. I think Sara Allen and Mom are the only people who even read this thing anymore, and frankly, I don't have anything good to discuss as of late. LET's just say that my car needs to drive itself off the side of a mountain. I hate it so much, and it has been nothing but STRESS STRESS lately. So I don't wanna harsh anyone's buzz with that talk. Here's a pic of me as of tonight:

God my cheeks are so huge. I look like a gerbil. As you can plainly see, I am trying to grow my bangs out again. I just can't find a style that highlights all the features in the best way possible. It's like my hair DOESN'T want me to be great. Anyway, there I am. That shirt I am wearing is so cute. I got it at the thrift store a few weeks ago, and it is a vintage JC Penny gem. The pattern is super sweet - red with yellow white and blue flowers speckled all over. It's got a Pettycoat Junction thang going on, and I'm into it.

Well, I guess that's all I really got. Motha, thanks for the devoted reading. I love ya.

Pizza Partay

2010-04-25T15:50:00.001-07:00

Today Chris and I went to Pisa Pizza. I had never been before, and today was the last day it was open. Apparently there just wasn't enough business and they can't afford to say open. It was kind of sad in there cause all the people seemed bummed (obvs), but I am super glad I got to see it and eat it once. Here we are waiting to feast!

Chris and his iphone. typical.

Here we have me just chillin' in my sailboat romper. I got it at a super cute store named Leo Vintage. It reminds me a lot of Local Honey in Nashville, but it has a screen printing shop in it as well. SUPER cool.

Here's the pizza! It was seriously tasty. I'm not sure if I thought so just because I knew this was the only time I would ever be able to eat it, but I thought it was very delish. It was very tomato-y.
Even Mockingbirds like Pizza. This one got on the table next to us and got a bite. I was gonna shoo it away at first, but then I realized that he just wanted some pizza and I couldn't blame him. So we ate pizza together.

Afterward we went to Clumpie's ice cream where Chris got strawberry! See him holding it up like he is proud of it?? I like this picture because it makes me think of a scene from Opryland. That is a carousel in the background.

And I got lemon cream. It was very good. I would get it again. We went to Coolidge Park to eat our desserts because it was so nice outside. Two people got shot there a few weekends ago, but it is pretty nice. I need a haircut.

So that was our pleasant day. I am very sad to see Pisa Pizza leaving, but maybe something even cooler will open up when they are gone.

In other news, I had to drop 600 dollars on my car yesterday, so I am very bummed. Chris is also leaving for a week to go on a business trip to Vegas, so I am gonna be lonely, too. I wanna go to Vegas so bad!!! Hopefully Chris will bring me back a good souvenir. Maybe I'll get around to some sewing projects I have been ignoring for a while. Okay I am boring myself now, so I think that's enough for now

i got my laptop cover!

2010-04-19T15:57:00.000-07:00

check it out:

It's so cute! It's very Holly Hobby, and is cut from genuine 70's contact brand paper. Sunshine over at blogfullofjelly made it for me, and I can't believe how lucky I was to receive this treasure. Check out her blog, because she is a fashion demi-god as far as I'm concerned. And super nice, too! I'd call her a SHERO for sure (shout out to Sara Allen *again* for introducing me to that word. hero + female = shero. It's a normal part of my vocab now). So many clothes I want to have/fit into. ANYWAY!!! I love this enough to blog about it. It's kinda like Christmas in April?

i want a cat

2010-04-18T13:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, I "technically" already have a cat. She lives at my parents house, and she is about 14 years old. But that doesn't mean I still don't love kittens. I think if you are a girl and you act like kittens aren't cute or cool, then you aren't really a girl. Look at this one:

He's so sleepy! It's like having a tiny version of a wild jungle cat living in your home. I like cats cause they just do their thang, unlike dogs who constantly need a reminder of their validity to you. So here's to you, kittens. If it wasn't 300 bucks to even have an animal in this crappy apartment complex, I'd have 10 of you!

In other news, I think I have a pinched nerve in my shoulder area, and have resorted to using bengay. Does that mean I am getting old? Or just pathetic? Either way, I am doing a lot of chillin and about to watch THE PROTECTOR! Only one of the most killer kung-fu jams out there. Wanna taste?

I know. Look. This is all I'm gonna say: A BABY ELEPHANT GETS TOSSED LIKE A FRISBEE IN THIS MOVIE. AND THERE IS A 6 MIN. CONTINUOUS SHOT FIGHT SCENE. And I would be yelling all of this if I were explaining this to you in person. It's a Thai movie, and Tarantino got it released in America. Tony Jaa is so awesome and fast. If you haven't seen it, at least youtube the fight scene. It is super awesome.
Also, Chris and I went for an epic walk today. We went to Good Dog, as usual, for a tasty lunch, then we walked across the recently re-opened pedestrian bridge, hung out outside the Art Museum and sat in the sunshine for a while. We took a pretty good pic of me with a wooden pony:

Then we went to Rembrandt 's in the Art District and sat outside where we had a couple of iced coffees and a piece of reese's cheesecake that was DELICIOUS. I can't resist treats no matter what I do. I think I just need to accept being on the thick side because I love sweets so much. Anyway, it has been a beautiful day. Here's to next week being 8-5 and hating it!

hello, my name is rachel...

2010-04-13T18:46:00.001-07:00

and i am a television addict. Here is what is on the line up for tonight. I can't even believe this night of television. Check it:

We start this evening out with everyone's favorite, DWTS! Only this year, the only thing worth paying attention to is how broke off Kate Gosslin's weave is, and trying to guess what kind of pills Pam Anderson is probably on during the show. I don't really even know who anyone is this year other than those two. But I do love me a good mambo. a waltz is pretty sweet, too. Tonight some australian dude went home, so thankfully there will be no more of Edita and her mostly naked body to make me question my validity as a woman.

Next up: 16 & Preggo. I feel kind of bad when I watch this because there are girls straight up ruining their entire lives. I really appreciate my God fearing parents when I see how hard they all screwed up... but that doesn't keep me from watching some other folk make a big mess of their young adulthood. I'm actually about to see a girl named Lizzie about to get pregnant, cheated on, and stuck with a kid before she graduates. right?!?! All I am gonna say is that young dude do NOT wanna kick it with a baby. I think that's what they should tell girls in teen living class. moving on.

Hey Kendra! I don't have a lot to say about this, other than Kendra still manages to be a Boss even though she just had a babe. She struggles with her body after she has the kid, and it totally makes me feel like even Kendra understands how it feels to hate your thighs. She's a real girl, and I would give anything to be her friend. Go Kendra!

And finally, Tiny and Toya. T.I.'s fiancee and Lil Wayne's ex wife. I did a post on them a while back, and tonight their second season starts back up!!!! My tivo is straight up on fire right now with the hotness. These girls are for real, cause you know T.I. doesn't play. Every white girl needs to have at LEAST a couple of strong black female role models... so your welcome!!!

These are my suggestions for curing a very boring and lonely tuesday night.

In other news, I am currently holding it down in the work place, and my plants are really thriving outside. I am also getting a haircut tomorrow. Also, I am currently awaiting a package from Sunshine over at blogfullofjelly.blogspot.com and I can't believe it. She put up a post about making laptop covers, i holla-ed at her, and voila! dreams came true. I'll be putting that on blast immediately upon arrival.

one love!!!

kidz

2010-04-02T19:00:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a lot of hanging out in Goodlettsville lately. This means that my niece wants to play with photobooth every single time i get my computer out. So, I am taking this chance to showcase how cute she is!!! PLEASE look at this mess:
She had a birthday last weekend, and that was a little something like this:

It was a Minnie Mouse party, and it was off the hook. Please try to act like that isn't the cutest thing you have ever seen. I love her so much, and I hope her second year on this miserable earth is as beautiful as she is.

Now. I am going to chill in my old room, and go through some old clothes to see if I can't uncover some lost jewels.
xox

suck it, uncle sam!

2010-03-24T19:03:00.000-07:00

I got my tax return today, and I actually got a RETURN! I can't believe it, cause I thought I would have to pay about 2 g's I had saved up. So long story short, this lil hood rat is gonna try to go to Europe! I haven't ever been, so now is my chance to make my dreams come true. In celebration, I say we get into some hippy shit cause I have come to terms with this song:

TAKE IT, KENNEDY!

Please excuse the acoustic set instead of the bee girl vid. I couldn't find one that would let me post, bitchy. I don't approve of what you begot, Blind Melon. God save me if I ever have to hear the Panic anytime soon. But you take me there, guys. I want the 90's back, just put away the hemp jewelry.

my my my fan ta ta sy

2010-03-23T17:34:00.000-07:00

Here is what I wish my life was like on a daily basis:

Why can't real offices be like the TV show? I don't think I'm asking for much.

kermit is not gonna be happy about this

2010-03-21T17:19:00.000-07:00

Okay. It has been quite a while since I have done any posts about anything pop culture-related. I just felt like I needed to be living my own live instead of living vicariously through others. That being said, I need to say something about the latest 16 & Pregnant teen, Lori. OMG. Lori was adopted herself, and then she went and got preggers. So naturally, the parents made her give it up for adoption. Trust me, I watched the entire episode and it was the right move. With that said, here is a picture of the angel:
I know it is tiny, but it was the only one I could find on MTV's website that wasn't of her very post-birth. I am doing you a favor, so just deal with it. chaz bono? is that you? Come on, you know I am right. It has really made me appreciate myself on a whole new level. Sometimes you just need a little perspective, ya know? but on the real tip, someone.got.her.PREGNANT.

i know, RIGHT!?!?

Cat Roulette

2010-03-13T16:16:00.000-08:00

How could I forget to post my first conversation on the scariest thing I have ever found on the internet, Chat Roulette. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT visit this site unless you want to for sure see penises. I, however, was lucky to come across this:

Please click the pic for a detailed view of the cat eating corn. And I have no shame that there is a tab on this desktop picture that shows I was lurking on Sean Collins on facebook. Somehow it seems to fit with this conversation. Anyway, someone was chatting as a cat who was eating corn. I couldn't figure out how to get my camera to work, but it was still awesome. So there!

SHOUT OUT!

2010-03-12T17:43:00.000-08:00

First thing's first, let me shout at'cha, SARAH ALLEN. You are the only person who even mentions my blog, so this one's for you sister. I miss the fudge out of you.

So I really don't update this thing as often as I would like to. Right now life pretty much sucks because work sucks. We are super busy and I deal with fanatical basketball losers, mostly old men who do NOT enjoy talking to a girl on the phone. So, I spend most of my time chanting the Serenity Prayer. The weekend is my only real "me" time. Here is it's been looking like:

Last weekend we went to the park, and apparently we had the same idea as everyone else in the tri-state area.
This is the pedestrian bridge. They have it closed right now, but hopefully they will open that thing back up in the next month or so. It is really neat to stroll down, and you can look down on the park underneath. So we've got that going for us. We tried to go into the ice cream place, Clumpie's, but that line was too long and I wasn't havin' it. So here's whats up:
MAYFIELD Y'ALL!!! this is the Purity of Chattanooga, only hella better. I personally feel the chocolate wafer on the purity sandwiches are too hard. These were nice and soft, and I can truly say I enjoyed the hell out of that treat. Put a Brown Cow in front of me, and I'll take your arm off.

This weekend has been more of a one day adventure, if you will. We hit up Good Dog again where I feasted on some frites. What was different about today? DONUTS!!! A donut shop opened across the street called Chattanooga's Julie Darling Donuts. You can actually smell the tastiness as you walk up to the building.
THIS is what was waiting on me when I waddled on inside. I wish I had taken a picture of our choices, but I didn't even think about it as I went in for the kill. I had a blueberry cake, and Chris had a strawberry iced. I don't care how many calories I inhaled, it was worth it.

After the damage was done, I made Chris take me to the Goodwill on Old Hixon Pike. I found two button up shirts that were totally awesome. I'll tell you what's not awesome though, and that is having to use a thrift store dressing room that smells like farts. Not Cool, Chattanooga.

But PLEASE feast your eyes on these two sweet prints on these button ups. This is gonna be great for summer time. Very Griswold Family Vaca.

And here we have a very lightweight pink and blue plaid. Did I mention there is sparkle thread in it? I also ran across this here cat. Look at it. So so upsetting. Like, so upsetting to me that I took a picture and put it in my blog. Chris doesn't think it's funny. I do.

So that's pretty much it. I don't have anything super exciting going on, but I DID get my hair did. I am straight up feeling like a new woman.
Obviously I blinked, but I think these kinds of pictures are the keepers. God, my house looks so boring. ANYWAY, this has gone on too long. Hope you enjoyed my post. If you're lucky, I'll update my feelings on a little show I call 16 & Pregnant. Right now I need to watch Bobby Flay cook a chicken pot pie. BYEEEEEEEEE!!!!

I need spring

2010-02-21T17:29:00.000-08:00

Oh Hay there! I see ya caught me on the big brick couch downtown. How'd I end up here? Funny story.

I feel like I wanna cut my hair. I need something new, I think. I also think I have spring fever. These past few days of sunshine have really put me in a good mood. I want it to stay! Apparently, though, it's supposed to rain AND snow this week here in tha noog, so whatever. Today was the bomb, tho. I slept in, got up and we went on a movie adventure. Cue pictures!
This is Mojo Burrito. The staff there are really nice, and they had me laugin. So there's that, and the atmosphere is pretty neat. All kinds of local art and cool little things everywhere. It is really delicious, too. They have this key lime chicken that is sinful. I mean, so good. Here is what our food started out as:

and this is how it ended:

So delicious. I straight up feasted. So after we ate, we headed over to the new Carmike 12 downtown. See, they have these "VIP" rooms where you get to sit in a recliner, basically. Oh yeah, you get a complimentary bowl of popcorn, and you get free refills on tea. So it's baller status, basically. I should probably just let the pictures do the talking (Cue T.I.'s Live Ya Life):

So so player pimp. I straight up stretched OUT during Shutter Island. Don't even get me started on Michelle Williams and Leo. Why can't I be tiny and blond? ugh. Anyway, we went on a walk after that chill fest. I caught a pic of the downtown snowflakes they still have up. I am super glad I did. I think they are really sweet.
So it was a pretty nice day, I'd say. I think it's pretty nice sharing my little weekends here. I just wish I had more time to do things like this during week. Working sucks. Blessings!!

hawt gawwg

2010-02-15T19:22:00.001-08:00

Me and Chris went to eat at "Good Dog" the other day on Frazier, and it was so delicious. They have the best frites I have had in a long time, and a really really enchanting scene going on. Check this out:
This pretty much showcases what this place has to offer. They have this curry ketchup that Chris thinks is pretty awesome. I like the honey mustard on my fries, personally. just sayin. Anyway, here is us waiting to FEAST:

I find that I make a lot of awkward faces. I guess that's my look. all those awesome lines behind me are a collection of really neat molding. All the molding and some of the walls in this place are just a hodge podge of different pieces of old molding and chair rails cut together. It's neat. Anyway, here's what you're missin' out on, sucka!
It was really good. goot, even. There are the holes in the tables where they bring your paper cone of fresh fries so you can eat on them while you wait for your dog. It's nice. The best thing about this place are the antique salt and pepper shakers everywhere. Owls, watermelons, cats, bottles, all kinds of stuff. That and the flowers on every table really charm it up. These were especially sweet.

Happy Valetines Day!

2010-02-14T20:38:00.000-08:00

Hello to anyone who checks this. Just wanted to say happy valentines day to you. i got chris kung fu and socks. he got me a new plant and wayne's world 2. i think that's love. i also took a bunch of fun pictures, and i'll get around to posting that at some point. just wanted to say happy v day. it's never too late to show some luv.

weekendddd!!!

2010-02-12T15:43:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here watching Withnail and I, eating these Jellybeans, and loving the fact that I got off early on a friday from work cause of SNOW!!! It has been a really fantastic day, and this movie is SO GOOD. It reminds me so much of my long lost buddy, Thommy Odell.

It seriously has so many hilarious moments in it, and I love that it features so much Jimmy Hendrix thanks to my fave Beatle, George. Is it weird that I still really like Jimmy Hendrix? dunno. But can I take a second to tell you how good these jelly beans are? Imagine something you think is delicious, then imagine going to the store to get it and it is just gone. vanished. you go so far to order them from a manufacturer, and it never arrives. no clue why. It's like I was never meant to have these beans. But then Chris found AND ordered them for my birthday, and I finally get to taste that taste i thought i'd never taste again. it's so plumby. check it:

This makes it kind of look like gravel or something. But it's real good. and just for fun, the flowers my mom and dad sent me today at work. I felt so special. Today was the day of love at Div Co.

Lovely! I love my Mom and Dad.

Hope you guys have a bitchin' weekend!

jaybez!

2010-02-12T14:53:00.000-08:00

My jelly beans came today!!!! just sayin.

meh live

2010-02-10T17:32:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a while and my jelly beans STILL aren't here. I am beginning to believe that I'm not meant to have them at all. But in the mean time, I guess I can just post some pics of my new stuff with MY NEW CAMERA MY PARENT'S GOT ME!!! It was a total suprise and I am very glad I have such loving rents. Anyway, I decided to make this a little bit more about my life in chattanooga and the neat things i see here rather than about celebrity crap. So here we go! Get ready to enter my life. Are you ready? let's begin!

So here we have my little plants. I dunno what they are, but I take pretty good care of them. I have recently discovered my green thumb, and I have a little area outside of our apartment that I can plant in! I am thinking some veggies? maybe some flowers? I dunno yet. Maybe I'll become a hippie?

Pleeeeease peep this lamp I have now. I got a pair of them on a straight deal. The shades are this awesome vintage-looking tannish speckaly paper, and the base is this blown out amber glass. SO BEAUTIFUL! They were just one of those things that you see and you have to have.

Is this not outstanding? I found them in a thrift store that I found by mistake one night after work. I felt like it was something that would have been in my grandma's house so I bought them. I think they are really great.

Pretty sweet, huh? I added the third from the left today from a goodwill on hwy 58. There was a lady in there, possibly homeless?, singing her GUTS out to a whitney houston song proudly.

This is a FANTASTIC quilt that my grandmother gave me when I moved. She got it WAY back when around when my mom was born? from some family friends. It has some of the best pieces of patterns that I have ever seen. I am absolutely in love with it.

Okay so that is basically me just taking pictures of my stuff with my new camera. I made these killer chicken fajitas tonight that I wish I had taken a picture of. it was delicious.

one love

dreams come true

2010-01-31T13:52:00.000-08:00

I just found out that Chris special ordered me my most favorite and rare treat, PLUM JELLY BELLY JELLYBEANS!!!! They come in the full on variety pack, but you can't get them solo anymore. I swear to god I go in every single candy shop with that jelly belly sign on the outside hoping i'll come out with those precious beans, but I never find them. We even tried to order them through Amazon, but they screwed up big tyme and didn't ever send them to me. I thought I would never get to taste that sweet taste again until today. Chris told me that they are seasonal, and that they start making them February 1st. Sign from the universe that this is my power candy. I plan on eating them til I puke. 26 is gonna RULE!

Yes, it's January 3rd

2010-01-03T14:53:00.000-08:00

And I haven't left the house since new years eve evening. Do I feel pathetic? Only slightly. While I have been home and not at work, I have done nothing but watch TV, shower daily (thank you very much), and eat. Oh yes... one more thing... SEASON 3 OF DEXTER! I didn't want to like this season because it seemed so boring the first five episodes, but DUDE this show has picked back up! I watched the first season a while back, loved it. Watched the second season, ehhh. Started watching the third season, and was about to give up til the last few episodes. I can safely say, though, that the acting on this show is completely busted. AND it doesn't help that the Dexter and his sister Deb are really married in real life. Sorrys, but I can't buy the whole sibling relationship when I know in the back of my mind that the two of you are boning off set. It's gross. Anyway, I wish I didn't know what happened on Season 4's last episode, because I know that shit would have blown my mind if I didn't see it coming. Dexter mixes my two favorite things - forensics and tha drama. I just wish someone would give Deb a sandwich. For real. I could keep going, but I think I have made my point. And Jimmy Smits, rep that shit homes.

i know this is a little late at this point,

2009-12-31T11:41:00.000-08:00

But I LOVE THE JERSEY SHORE SO MUCH! This show has rekindled my love for MTV. Are these people even real? I sure hope so, because they make me feel like much less of a failure in general. I don't understand how this is even acceptable. How many STDs do you think this group has collectively had?

Let's get a little bit more specific and discuss the angel known as "Snookie." She is like a oompa loompa made it with a real housewife of new jersey and created a miracle little orange creature. And this girl got straight up punched right in the face by a dude at a bar cause he took her shot and she got up in his grill. MTV probably aired that clip on commercials a zillion times, but then decided to cut it out of the actual episode?! I don't understand why, and it really bummed me out cause she gets POPPED so hard. Do yourself a favor and watch this:

Yeah, it's disturbing the first few times you watch it, but give it a chance. i mean, she IS okay, so it isn't that bad. Anyway, she for real got cracked on. I should probably get out more considering how many times I have seen this clip. guhhh!

i'm baaaaaack!

2009-12-31T11:18:00.000-08:00

Hey ya'll. It's been a minute, right? Well, since my last entry on Tom Cruise's jacked up teeth, I have moved twice basically and live in Chattanooga now. I have no friends and a shitty job, but at least I don't live in Antioch!!! Anyway, in celebration of the New Year and my big move, I am bringing bloggin back. That's right, I am really committed this time to making my blog work it. I have big plans for you, pecan bloggers. So buckle up, cause things are about to get real trashy.

Rach

wazzup witcha teef?

2009-10-02T11:29:00.000-07:00

take a minute to inspect tom cruise's teeth in the above picture. do you notice anything strange? oh, i dunno, maybe that his teeth are completely off center? its like someone straight up jammed a tooth all up in the middle of his gums. this has bothered me for SO long. i mean, can't he afford new lumineers for goodness sake? get it together tommy girl. divas gotta take care of their teefs!

I know it is a little late to say...

2009-09-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

But I am really very sad to see Patrick Swayze go. He was SUCH a genuine and fun person who loved life, and he loved his wife just as much. Tonight I watched the Barbara Walter's special that aired a while back where he and his wife were interviewed about what he has gone through and how much he wanted to fight his cancer. It was all very touching. He had been in love with his wife since he first saw her after taking a dancing class at her mom's studio when he was 18. They were married for 34 years, which seems unheard of in Hollywood. They truly seemed to love each other, and I don't even want to think of loosing your soul mate that way. Patrick Swayze was a totally underrated actor who brought it to EVERY single movie he was in. Outsiders, Pointbreak, Rodehouse, Ghost, Dirty Dancing, To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar, Donnie Darko, THE CHIPPENDALES SKIT WITH CHRIS FARLEY ON SNL?!?!?!!? He was great in everything. It's like he could take a terrible movie and make it awesome because he really was a talented actor. So I will really miss you, Patrick Swayze. I enjoyed you in every movie I saw you in, and I can't say that for many people. You'll be missed Cowboy.

2009-09-09T21:33:00.000-07:00

This weekend Tiny & Toya came into my life. I don't know where these two have been, and why I never knew about their show, but I feel like I found my two best dream friends. Toya is in the yellow on the left; she's Lil Wayne's ex-wife and the mother of his daughter. Tiny is the one in the pink on the right. She's T.I.'s fiancee, and she is maybe the most down ass woman I have ever seen in my life. Put them together and you have ATL's finest bffs, and my spirit soul sisters. I should hate Tiny because we all know I consider T.I. a fantasy man, but I cannot hate this woman. Tiny is super awesome and you can tell she is down for her man. I like that. and Toya is just a real down ass woman trying to get hers and stay classy. I like that, too. They are awesome, basically. Their show comes on BET. I suggest you get you some if you wanna keep that independent black woman inside you strong. I really hope season 2 is on the way, cause this show awakens my soul.

lemme holla at'cha

2009-09-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I'm engaged, but I'M NOT DEAD! The newest celebrity crush on my long long list is the one and only Eli Roth. I am fairly certain God made him for me. I saw Inglorious Basterds, and I basically discovered something that was just lying dormant in me all along - a burning love for this beautiful jewish man. He is pretty much the best horror director around. I mean shit, no one will top Cabin Fever as far as I'm concerned. He made it for nothing, made sure everyone got paid before him (he is still not seeing any money from it to this day), made Hostel!!!, has a jaw line sculpted by Jesus Christ himself, and the weird humor that makes me weak in the knees. He is known for being a super nice dude, on top of all that. I mean, I could go on and on about all the bad ass stuff that is Eli Roth, but I will spare you and just let you look that shit up on wikipedia or something. Let's all take a moment to relish in one of his best cameo's in Cabin Fever:

I pour this one out for you, Eli. You seem like you might be a little crazy, and I like that. I leave you with a glimpse into my dreams:

stating the obvious?

2009-09-03T19:43:00.000-07:00

I know that this is old news in 2009, but Dog the Bounty Hunter is such a pimp. I was kicking it with my mom the other night looking for something to watch on tv, and happened across his show. So I tuned in and got sucked in immediately. That dude is f-o-r-r-e-a-l. He straight up stalks his prey (aka runaway fugitives) and then makes them feel sorry for what they did. Dog's not happy til they are crying!

Lets do a quick rundown of this prince: Dog sports a bleached beautiful mane, dream catcher earring, native american arm bands, BLUETOOTH EARPIECE, and badge all at the same time. Do I even need to mention his collection of vests he wears sans shirt on the reg? didn't think so. p.s. his wife is so sexy i can't stand it. I mean, she is working those big ol boobs like they're real. These two were practically made for each other. So drink it in, pecan blog babies. Give in and revel in his glory. THA BOUNTY HUNTA!

RIP you robot angel

2009-08-26T21:00:00.000-07:00

Dominick Dunne died today. He had bladder cancer, and was 83. This baller had a KILLER show on tru tv (aka my life) called Trial & Arrest where he would tell the story of some kind of intense high profile murder case. He was a writer, a journalist, and a forreal g. He did kind of look like a robot sitting at that table narrating his show, but I loved him for that. I could always depend on him to shoot it to me straight, not to mention he swag was always on. Those glasses were awesome. So here's to you, Dominick. Forensic Friday will never be the same. This weekend I pour one out for you.

long time no blog

2009-08-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

it's been a while since i updated this thing, mostly because i only have 6 followers and no one really reads it. Regardless, i am back and i am going to get started again. Things have been intense in my hood lately, and we are in the process of moving. that is my excuse for the lack of bliz-ogging. so i'm back, bitches. let's turn the hate up!

coincidence? nope

2009-07-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

This morning I was watching Saved by the Bell as I was getting ready for work, and it was the episode where kelly and zach break up at the costume dance/prom? and slater and jessie were totally singing "how am i suppose to live without you" in the background!!! so emotional. Anyway, I just checked dlisted and THIS IS THE COVER OF PEOPLE MAGAZINE!!!:

I don't think that is a coincidence. I think kelly and zach are going to get back together. fast forward to me hitting the doors at quitting time and snagging this gem off the magazine shelf. and i am glad screech isn't on the cover. he is STILL a douche bag.

i wish i had thought of this

2009-07-24T21:38:00.001-07:00

but i am glad someone did it. just check it out.

is.this.happening.

2009-07-17T23:24:00.000-07:00

okay, i have gone blog crazy tonight, but this just came on t.v. while i was watching the end of return of the living dead... no joke...

i actually said out loud in my room, alone mind you, "oh my god is this really happening right now???" i hope i'm not alone on this one...

are you super bored and hormonal too?

2009-07-17T23:09:00.000-07:00

then just go ahead and watch the episode of 16 and pregnant where catelynn gives up her little girl for adoption. i don't even wanna go into it because i am too busy reevaluating everything about my life right now.

http://www.mtv.com/videos/16-and-pregnant-ep6-catelynn/1615511/playlist.jhtml

tell me whoooooz watchin'

2009-07-17T21:05:00.001-07:00

So, I am basically obsessed with "The Money You Could Be Saving If You Switched To Geico" commercials. I dunno why, but every single time the commercial comes on I laugh/jam to the song. I mean, just watch the guy's face at the end after he sees that it's the money he could be saving:

I love it. But the best one is the guy on the airplane that looks like a jilted lover when he sees that money staring him down from across the isle. I WISH I could have found it, but if you ever find yourself watching and it happens to come on, give it a chance. You'll love it too, or else we need to reevaluate our friendship.

Also, during my search for said commercial, I came across one of my FAVORITE commercial from back in the day:

Does Geico have some kind of commercial genius working for them or something??? Or am I so out of touch that I am finding things hilarious that I have no business laughing at? I wish more than anything that Tiny House was a real show. I would tivo the hell out of it. I mean, it could work!!! whatever, it's funny and I could look up geico commercial all day. leave me alone about it. I'll just leave you with this:

do florals make you look thinner?

2009-07-11T20:50:00.000-07:00

I am trying to get more floral prints into my life. I am toying with the idea of getting some patterns, but it has been FOREVER since I have had any pattern experience. I need someone to show me? Anyway, I always come across really tight material and I immediately get bummed cause I don't even know how to make something basic.

i also need to admit that i am watching chelsea lately right now, and i am not proud of that, but she can be kind of funny sometimes. it's kind of like watching a drunk aunt or something. anyway, they just showed a commercial on where to get chelsea lately merchandise?! what? who is seriously sporting some CL swag? obviously a slow saturday night. gonna go watch some tru tv.

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

2009-07-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

Here is what is happening: ENTOURAGE premier (i bet it kind of sucks... but i hope it's good)/TRUE BLOOD/Daisy of Love is back!!!!! two days. i am such a freak.

simply dilicous

2009-07-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

So, the other day I made myself a couple of peanut butter folded over sammies (extra crunch cause I gotta grind as hard as possible these days) and cut up a peach. it was so good that I am now blogging about it. I don't know what it is, but peaches are taking my summer to new heights of awesome. add a peanut butter sandwich to that and you have a meal i call f-ing tas-tay. I suggest you pair the two for yourself and see what I mean. on a side note - it is almost impossible to find a picture of a peanut butter sandwich that isn't disgusting looking. anyway, I am also interested in trying peanut butter and bacon. I was told about this fabled sandwich, and it was described as outrageous good. I watched a special on bacon the other night on food network, and obvs it got me thinking!!! I bet it's good.

also, my thighs are telling me no, but my stomach is insisting that I have one of these:

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW. Every year I tell myself, just one box, Rachel. Be strong. So I hide tagalongs in the house so I won't eat them all in one sitting, but I feel like such a secret fattie for it. So secrets out- This is my favorite cookie of all time and I don't even know what to do with this new masterpiece. I feel like it might send me into a coma cause it is gonna be so good? also on a sidenote, I seriously thought these cookies were called talladegas til I was like, 14? 15 even? I actually referred to them as such, and got cold busted by my mom who was all, "uhh it is tagalongs, rach." all I heard was, "did i give birth to a re re?" I mean, how does one even come up with something like that?? talladegas? yikes.

And if you are reading this Brynney - I am sorry girl. I think about you every time i taste peanut butter, and I enjoy it double for the both of us.

go on girl!

2009-07-10T19:18:00.000-07:00

check out local honey's blog. shea has a badass shop here in nashville, and she also gets her fashion blog on. my orange antique mall dress on it from last night. obviously she has great taste:) love it!

http://www.localhoneynashville.blogspot.com/

oh hell no

2009-07-10T13:45:00.000-07:00

So, TODAY i came across a beautiful picture of joe jackson, and melted. That girl on the left is yevette. She's British and she has some blog of her and pictures with celebrities... although i don't know how reputable that site is... seeing as how it is claming this midnight stallion is a celebrity. Come on! His FACE IS SO SCARY!!! And he looks like he would stain you if he touched you. I just don't understand how so many strange alien people come from this one family. Anyway, just thought I would share so you too could share my nightmare.

you tell me.

2009-07-09T15:33:00.001-07:00

What is the difference here? Because when I saw this picture of courtney love's broke down ass today I seriously seriously seriously thought it was bret michaels of poison AND rock of love fame. COME ON, courtney. You are really struggling, girl. and you aren't looking too awesome yourself, bretty. we all know your bald, so you can take that damn bandanna and wig made from old barbie dolls hair off now. if you just look at him in the face, he kind of looks like jon from jon and kate +8. you know, sad and bloated.

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEAN MAN?

2009-07-04T11:15:00.000-07:00

To me, the fourth of july is the day no one can judge you for anything. it's unamerican. that being said, today i declare my love for donald faison. he is on scrubs (dont judge), and he probably kicks it with zach braff (dont judge!!). i seriously watch the show just to see him. he is the best lines, and the best timing. he ALWAYS makes me laugh, even when the end gets all dumb and fluffy and makes you think about your own behaviors. i turn the channel right about then. but for twenty minutes, donny don is running it. and are you forgetting that he played MURRAY IN CLUELESS?!?!?! "gimmie five dollahs." anytime, don. anytime.

so here's to grills, fireworks, and donald faison. go listen to Webbie feat. Trina "Independent Remix" and remember that all the bad bitch independent girls would be nothing without that declaration of awesomeness. GOD BLESS THE USA!!!

half empty?

2009-07-01T09:37:00.001-07:00

Well, the year is officially half over. Can't say I am too sorry to see half of 2009 go, cause it's been a ballbuster of a year thus far, but today is my one year anniversary with cd2 and he sent me some flowers at work. The girls at work probably just think I sent them to myself to try and prove I really do have a boyfriend. Anyway - today is going well and I hope this means that the rest of the year will also be kickass. So here's to you, 2009- your half over and I need a drink.

Side note: this means we are 2 1/2 years away from the end of 2012 a.k.a. end of times. I HOPE WE MAKE IT!!!

PSSSSTT!!!!

2009-06-30T17:02:00.000-07:00

I haven't been updating the way I should. Don't judge - it just seems like no one even reads these shits. Regardless, I need to document my newest obsession... DOG WHISPERER. oh. muh. god. just look at this unstoppable diva -

I mean, is this man even real? I am pretty sure he is a demon, cause this fool straight up talks with pups. Cesar Millan is his name, and making bad dogs his tricks is his game. He preaches strong energy to control your wild beasts. I like where his head is. He does this little noise and puts those jerks in line... and I am currently convinced it is witchcraft.

I WISH I had him around when our dog thought it was cool to wiz on everything... and I do mean everything. Also, that doggie had bone aggression. Not cool, so he lives with a much more patient woman now.

I digress - Cesar is a pimp. Check out this vid. I mainly chose this due to the dog's name, and his owners' enthusiasm for the breed. Just watch Cesar show these crazies and their dog who's boss. And where can I get her shirt?!?

doin it real big

2009-06-26T21:20:00.000-07:00

Watching Terminator for the first time right now. Real time bloggin ya'll. This movie is taking it there in every way possible. If I saw this for the first time in a theater with out knowing anything about it - i would be FREAKING OUT! I mean seriously - what would you do if you knew a terminator with no eyebrows was trying to pop your ass and some other homeless looking dude was all "come with me if you want to live"!?!?! what.would.you.do.

linda hamilton is also doing it REAL REAL big with that poodle hair.

you're in heaven now, sweet angel

2009-06-25T17:42:00.001-07:00

I know it's old news at this point (a whole two hours after I found out), but I am not going to let this day go by without saying my piece about the death of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. Sure, he was a weirdo who might have bad touched a few kids and fed them some delicious Jesus Juice while they were riding his pet giraffe/ferris wheel, but Michael had his reasons for being a freaky freaky dude. I mean, his dad probably touched him too, and for sure abused the hell out of him. I mean, the Jackson 5 were basically the original Menudo. There is a fine line between child labor and entertainment, people. And the Jacksons were Jehovah Witnesses for goodness sakes!!! Poor M.J. couldn't even celebrate his birthday so he had to take it to another level when he got grown. But I digress... I always had love for Michael, even during the later questionable years. The soft spoken shy boy with the world's worst case of arrested development. You had too many jams for me to have hate. JUST TRY TO DENY THRILLER/BAD/BEAT IT/ROCK WITH YOU/MAN IN THE MIRROR/BILLY JEAN! I dare you!!

Rest in Peace, Michael Jackson. I console myself knowing you and bubbles are finally together again in that Neverland Ranch in the sky wearing matching outfits. Gone but not forgotten. I leave you with this. Shaaamone.

whhaaaaaaaatt?

2009-06-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

Is this supposed to be funny? Cause I laughed real hard at around 11:45 last night when this came on the t.v. Just wait for the third person (a.k.a. most awesome black dude of all times) to come on. I mean, spoken word is really ridiculous anyway, but as a subway commercial?!? do they mean for this to be hilarious? I dunno. Either way, good job on this commercial, Subway. I will be frequenting your establishment to eat my feelings more now with your Spicy Italian cause that tuscan chicken melt looks broke off as hell.

there's a shero

2009-06-21T20:44:00.001-07:00

Shelly Duvall, you got it girl. I just feel like she is an ultimate hottie, and she knows it. I mean, did you see her in Brewster McCloud???? You wanted to be her. I don't care who you are, you wanted to be her. Anyway - this one's for you, girl. Do tha damn thing.

STOP THE PRESSES!

2009-06-21T20:32:00.000-07:00

THIS JUST IN!!! WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY GOT A BLU RAY RELEASE DATE!!!!!

I know I know, it is a little bit nerd herd of me to get psyched for something like that, but it is my favorite movie ever and I have been waiting for this day since I got Chris the damned player. It is going to look so fing sweet - and look the best it has ever looked ever ever. true fact. Quick shout out to Thommy Odell who I lypsynched/coreographed the shit out of "I've Got A Golden Ticket" with in the search for the stars talent competition - Beech High School 2001 - 2nd place winners what what???

Anyway, there will be a ceremonial dinner of wonka related delicacies prepared, so now my goal is to find buttercup tea cups and giant gummybears before August 20th.

yes, you heard me right... a permanent carnival!!!

2009-06-21T17:22:00.000-07:00

So, this weekend me and Chris went to Chattanooga for his birthday. On Saturday, we went to Lake Winnepesaukah... and well, it was heaven. It is like a carnival that is open from mid april til the fall, and it is maybe the best place on earth. If you have seen the movie Adventureland, then you are pretty much familiar with what this place has to offer. It has rollercoasters, haunted houses, bumper cars, every kind of ride that makes you wanna puke, paddle boats, swings, god i could keep going, but I won't cause I know your eyes are just filling with tears knowing you arn't there right now. We road everything... but after the rollercoaster and the ride that spins you every way til you can't hold your head up anymore (for real), I felt like puking PLUS it was 98 degrees outside (shout out to the band 98 degrees... ya'll still doin tha damn thing!!!). Anyway, it was awesome. and Pierrette, the corndogs are UNBELIEVABLE. Next chance I think we need to make a roadtrip! And yes, the above picture really is Lake Winnie. When I die, scatter my ashes on the killer ride Matterhorn. kthanx.

FEEL IT!!!

2009-06-16T22:16:00.000-07:00

who said the 90's sucked? as far as I am concerned, YOU ARE AND WILL ALWAYS BE MARKY MARK, k?????? from his pants to dude next to him's weiner pat, i think we found my new desktop!

Queen Latifa Called...

2009-06-16T14:41:00.000-07:00

she wants her butch back. I cannot stand Jada Pinkett Smith. She looks like she probably likes to play a lot of softball. i saw a picture of her sticking her tongue out like she was going to flick tongue will smith on dlisted today and almost barfed at work. so get out of here, jada. no one is gonna watch your new show on tnt, or whatever station was desperate enough to give your own series. blaaakkkkk!

staturday morning fevah/do

2009-06-15T20:50:00.000-07:00

oh also, my saturday mornings are totally ruled by "Car Talk" on NPR. LOVE it. It makes the drive to h-e-double hockey sticks an easier pill to swallow. These guys have a really awesome attitude, and i like setting the pace with shit like that. So go on, girls!

and I just watched the Colbert Report, and Austin Goolsbee was on there talking about how he and Obama are just trying to ball in the USA. check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austan_Goolsbee
i mean, he is in the SKULL & BONES SECRET SOCIETY Y'ALLLLL!!!!!!! so so badass. wish i could get in :(

and also p.p.s. - there are like, two different versions of the soup on now? web soup? tosh.o? WTF?? no one gwanna top the soup.

treazurez

2009-06-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

Usually I totally hate to watch anyone get rich quick... especially when I don't get a cut, but antiques roadshow is my jam. I LOVE LOVE LOVE seeing people's faces when they tell them they hit it big, and I love it even more when the cocky douches who think their junk is gonna make them ballers only to find out it isn't worth SQUAT. This is like reality television for thrift store junkies (guilty!). LOVE it.

Anyway, watch this shit. I totally cried like the PMS ridden girl girl girl that I am when I watched this little old man get his blankie appraised for the first time. It is the perfect case of hoping for the best, expecting the worst, probably deserving the best, and well, JUST WATCH AND DIE!!!

stating the obvs

2009-06-14T20:20:00.000-07:00

I know this is totally old news, but every time I watch The Soup on E!, I fall in love with Joel McHale a little more. I used to be totally obsessed with Talk Soup with John Henson was the host, and then it went downhill fast when Hal M-Fing Sparks got a hold of the show. Anyway - Joel is the phoenix rising from those ashes with Talk Soup, and made it relevant again - thank god. The key to my heart is a funny guy, and well, let's just say the door is open, joel!

teevee

2009-06-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

btdubs,
why is there no good reality television on now besides daisy of love (which is kind of boring on the real), and kendra? cause nothing else is taking me there. take my trash television, take my life. am i going to have to start doing posts about pat sajak on wheel of fortune? i gotta get a life.

RP

tryin to scorkie a yorkie

2009-06-12T21:26:00.001-07:00

Just tryin to get one of these guys in my life right now. Chris's parent's have three of them. They used to breed them kindof... of course they stop when I want to get at one. We USED to have a seven year old boy who peed on everything... he isn't with us now for that sad reason. But we have a hole in my hearts now and it needs fillin!!! New life mission, get a pup. Oh, what? you wanted to know what I was going to name the lil fella? probs jellybean. jelly for short? there is no love like dog love, and i am seriously considering investing my entire tax return in this creature. just TRY to look at that face above and not weep. try it. BOOYAH!!

Do Yourself A Favor

2009-06-12T10:43:00.001-07:00

And just close your eyes and jam this song til you cry! Maybe it's the horomones, or maybe it's just the fact that it's a total jam, but billy is taking it there today. I feel like I should be watching Freaks and Geeks.

no really, that's how much i love them

2009-06-09T18:31:00.000-07:00

This is a post simply to say that Graham Crackers are delicious. I could eat an entire sleeve of them and not feel bad because they are so good. And SMORES??? Don't even get me started. Who wants to have a bonfire and get the cookout/par-tay started? I'm trying to get my feast on, and no one in this town knows how to have a good time anymore.

Say it to my motha f-in face!

2009-06-08T07:16:00.000-07:00

Why is this girl not my new best friend? Seriously, she is here to do work! If you got a problem, hit her up on her myspace. Also - it sounds like she might have a head cold.

vaca vaca vaca

2009-06-07T15:45:00.000-07:00

I want a VACATION so f-ing bad. I just saw the hangover last night, and it made me wanna get nuts in sin city. Times like these make me wish I had girlfriends who wanted to cross state lines and PARTY it up with me, seeing as how getting absolutely nuts isn't really what Chris considers a good time. I dunno what it is about Vegas, but I love love love it. I would live there if I was ballin enough. Anyone wanna sponsor a trip for me? I swear it will be worth your hard earned cash. We can have some drinks, win some cash, catch a show, have more drinks, make bad decisions... COME ON! it would be sick - like, exactly like the movie Showgirls. AWESOME!!!!

edith head gave good costume!

2009-06-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

gahh. Edith head is such an obsession. Because Chris's whole life revolves around movies, I have had the pleasure of getting to know this beaut of a lady. I mean, seriously y'all. Just wiki this woman, and you will be like shut up!! The list of actresses she designed for and Oscars she was nominated for is sick. Hitchcock used her all the time for costume design cause she is so so fly classic and chic it isn't even funny. I may not have the best threads or know everything there is to know about fashion, but I know that Edith Head's stylee is tight as a mug and I would give anything to have just one dress from her. love it.

p.s. check out tight ass black dude in background.

possible bff?

2009-06-02T20:37:00.000-07:00

I NEED to be bff with Kendra Wilkinson. I would watch Girls Next Door just to see her act insane. Her laugh is questionable, but I can deal with it if she would just let me ghost ride the whip with her (which she actually did on the show!!!). She seems down for just about anything. I feel like we could channel our inner strong independent black females together. Have you seen her dance? She totally practices her pop and/or lock in front of the mirror just like me. So awesome. Girl got a new show coming on E!, and I am positive it will be nothing but class class class. After I am done with this I am seriously going to set my dvr to record that mess. I will conclude with a picture of exactly what it would look like if me and kendra were chilling out a smoking a j after a sweet game of b-ball. Thanks for keeping it real, Kendra.

can we make this happen?

2009-06-02T20:26:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, this was what got me out of bed in the morning. I stayed at my grandparent's house a ton, and I am pretty sure Crocodile Mile how my grandma got shit done during the day. She would send me and my bro and/or cousin outside and tell us to go wild. I would get it on and poppin in the back yard with this mess. But any of you who know Crocodile Mile also know it's joys do not come without consequence. If you happen to lay that slide on top of a rock, you can bet you are gonna be bruised that night. NOTHING hurt more than nailing your shin just right on what may as well have been a boulder. But I digress - Crocodile Mile ruled. deal with it.

obsession?

2009-06-01T22:12:00.000-07:00

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the blog sexy people (http://www.sexypeople-blog.com/). I look at it every day, and last Tuesday my internet time-waisting paid off. Can you even look at him? Cause I can't. It's way too much for me to handle. I lol every time I look at this little precious beast. Huh? Whats his name?? Glad you asked... it's DAVEY!!! I actually set this image as my desktop. Seriously! A sad day quickly turns into an awesome day when Davey gazed deep into your eyes. Is he cock-eyed? I dunno. All I know is that this little guy is straight up working that coonskin hat and tiny shotgun. So drink Davey in - and check out that blog. it funny as hell.

we'd have so much fun

2009-06-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

Andy. Andy Samberg. Would you PLEASE just come over and take me on a dream date already? God, I am so into you. You understand how insanely funny early 90's culture and music is, and I like that. I wanna hang out, play with your hair, listen to boys II men and mariah carey's "one sweet day," and make out with you all afternoon long. I am pretty sure you would do nothing but make me laugh, and that is so ultimate. I don't care what anyone says - you are hot as a mug, and totally run it as far as I am concerned. Now lemme holla at'cha.

white trash

2009-05-30T08:42:00.000-07:00

I have been toying with the idea of getting one of these necklaces for a long time now. Obvs not in silver OR iced out, but in 24 K GOLD BITCHES. The idea was probably planted in my adolescent brain years ago at Rivergate Mall when I was convinced it was my mission to get one of those necklaces with your name written on a piece of rice and a hair wrap, too?!?!!!! I can't believe that shit was real. ANYWAY... i know what you might be saying: "Girl, you are just trying to be like those sex in the city hoes." No I am not, thank you. I was so pissed to see ol' horsey face sarah jessica parker sporting one of these necklaces back in the day when that show came on, and even more upset to see how popular it got. But I'm not going to let her take this from me. I feel like it would set off many outfits, and look bang bangin with an additional gold (rope?) chain. The trashier the better, as far as I am concerned. Next up - Rachel moves into a trailor in Greenbriar, TN.

for your consideration

2009-05-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

this is all i am going to say: Justin Long, get out. i don't want you around anymore. got it, dude?

LAFAYETTE... BABY!

2009-05-27T22:50:00.000-07:00

Oh god. So in like, three short days I watched True Blood, and I am officially conflicted and upset on so many levels. Do I keep going for all of those who haven't watched this mess? Careful with my words here. Look. There is plenty of good stuff in this show, but do NOT give me a JEWEL like Lafayette just to possibly take him away from my pathetic life. This individual made me laugh, cry, PAUSE THE DISC JUST TO CALL SOMEONE TO TELL THEM HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM even!!!!! He turns every possible situation out. It is like if Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Trina, Tu Pac, and Barack Obama had a baby and wanted him to be my best friend in the world. Seriously. I have a list of people that I dream of kicking it with, and this beautiful creature is one of them. This is the kind of individual who always has the right word, pill, or thought to fix your problem. And if anyone even trys to get right with you, don't worry. Lafayette will straight bust on a fool. So tonight, I burn one for you, Lafayette. I love you.

this used to be my playground

2009-05-25T20:59:00.000-07:00

when i was a kid, i used to stay at my grandparent's house on the weekends. this totally meant a night of popcorn, maybe some sweet T.G.I.F. action (a full blog devoted only to that beautiful night of television coming up), vanilla cream cookies, and this awesome lineup right here: EMPTY NEST!!

I totally forgot about charlie, the total perv that lived next door. and nurse laverne was one raspy voiced real deal lady. what about barbara the lesbian police officer daughter before it was cool to come on out and be real with it!!! there was even carol, the total mental case daughter who had some serious issues and needed a drink. Empty Nest ruled and it doesn't ever get remembered as fondly as the other classic 80's grandparent shows. That being said, there is obvs no way i can avoid this total gem:
blanch a hoe, rose is trippin, dorthy needs to get laid, and sophia is just keepin it real. nuff said. I will round this out with every southern girls' foundation for life, Designing Women.DO NOT mess with a Sugarbaker. I respect these hoes so much that I made a drink named after them. A Dixie Carter: one part whiskey, three parts lemonade, and a splash of grenadine. what was that? you decided you wanted a straight up Sugarbaker? A Sugarbaker: one part whiskey, two parts lemonade, one part ginger ale. i mean, is it just me? or is the power southern female dream friendship julia sugarbaker and sally field in steel magnolias? i thought so. oh yea, anthony SO gay. why did they EVER think anyone would believe the one very effeminate male in an interior design group was straight? okay, i gotta stop now. what what to all my G.R.I.T.S. out there.

is this wrong?

2009-05-24T16:39:00.000-07:00

Like most mentally healthy young women, I have a juicy list of my hollywood dream crushes. But I can't decide of Shia LaBouf is attractive or not. I mean, I am pretty sure he's totez hottt, but I'm not one hundred percent sure. I seriously watched the Transformers movie just to see him a few weeks ago. The movie was so terrible (espesh with that trick Megan Fox in it... she is a total trashcan, right?). I even watched Disturbia... didn't finish that one, though. Even Eagle Eye was a total peice of J-U-N-K, but he did a good job. He seems hecka funny, and he has a good grungy style that takes me there. So what's not to love? Nothing, everyone. nothing.

you're a winner! again!

2009-05-20T09:53:00.000-07:00

Little Shawn Johnson won DWTS last night. I mean, I guess I am happy because that hoe bag Cheryl didn't win, but I feel like Gilles was the better dancer. I might be influenced by his tall, dark, and maybe even handsome, but he twerked it. That being said - Shawn did have the best freestyle. So go on, girl. I still say that Lil Kim could have taken them all down with one samba if she hadn't been ROBBED by Ty. yes, I am still upset.

dawson would be proud

2009-05-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

michelle williams,

okay -so i didn't like you on dawson's creek. sorry. i think it was because i desperately wanted dawson and joey to get together and stay together, and you were really screwing that up for me. regardless, i think we probably got off on the wrong foot. as more time went by, i started to like you more and more. and now, well, i am not ashamed to admit that you are a shero (female hero) to me on so many levels. your cute ass kid, your banging style, the fact that you hook up with the coolest dudes possible, you have it all, girl. and just when i think you loose me by doing something silly like cutting off all your hair, i end up just getting busted and liking you even more cause you always turn it out. so here's to you, michelle williams. keep on looking good, making your kid look good, and taking it to the streets.

love
rachel

2009-05-12T19:11:00.001-07:00

This is a post to honor one of my favorite people - Tiffany "New York" Pollard. First, let me begin with everything this modest angel has been featured in - Flavor Of Love, she made it all the way to the finale and got dumped for Hoopz. Flavor Of Love 2- She got brought back and got dumped AGAIN for Deelishis. Then she got her own spin off, I love New York, where she found love in Tango, but it didn't last. Then she got a second shot at it with I love New York 2, where she fell for Taylor Made, but that toats didn't last either obviously. Then she got the show, New York Goes to Hollywood where she was trying to find an acting job. When that didn't work, VH1 gave her the newest show, New York Goes to Work. This show has brought her back, as far as I am concerned. I mean, duh. It is all fake. But she is so funny and so over the top that I just cannot get enough. Here is the latest quote from the episode I am currenty watching: "I'm about to ring this punk ass billy goat's neck!" And coming up next? She has to artificially inseminate a pig. Yeah.

And don't even get me started on her mom. It is easy to see where New York got her attitude from. So here's to you, Tiffany Pollard. Without you, I would have nothing to watch on VH1 every night of the week. Now I just got to figure out how to make my dream come true of becoming this natural beauty's bff. If you need a good time, go here:

http://tiffanypollard.blogspot.com/2007_05_01_archive.html

j'ai faim j'ai faim

2009-05-12T15:14:00.000-07:00

When I took French in college, we used to watch cultural films to familiarize ourselves with la vie de francias, si vous plait. Anyway, we watched this one movie that we all really loved, and we quoted it for the rest of our college french class careers. I couldn't ever remember the name of it, and I recently asked Chris (the human imdb) if he knew of a French movie where a baby falls out a window and a little girl yells that she's hungry so people will give her food through her window, among other things. He was all - "Duh, Truffaut's Small change" a.k.a. L'argent de poche. He totally unlocked the door for me, and my suffering was over! We had a bunch of Truffaut and Godard movies at the Belcourt while I was still working there, and got so excited that my college career was finally paying off. J'adore cette film!!!! I guess it was just a matter of time until I started actually enjoy good movies. Truffaut run it.

I love you not!

2009-05-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

Daisy of Love: What is this mess? I mean, usually I find most reality shows on VH1 fairly entertaining, but come on. COME on. Really? I mean, this alleged television show is more fake that Daisy De Le Hoya's nose/lips/bra size/personality. And usually I don't ever really believe any of the feelings on these shows are sincere, but sometimes I can trick myself into believing that each and every person is there for love. Call it the drugs. Call it the horomones.

Basically, even tricking myself is completely impossible with this show. And let me also take this opportunity to state that I have every right to hate on Daisy De La Hoya based strictly on the fact that she has NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS TATTOOS!!!! This is easily the most played out ridiculous choice for a tattoo ever. No, it does not make you cool and/or edgy and/or a goth princess. What? You wanna talk about "The Crow" next, Daisy? Maybe even go to Hot Topic and pick out some sweet studded belts? No ma'am. Let me now present what I think about everytime I see this little muppet:

TRY to tell me girlfriend doesn't look like Janet from the muppets. You know I'm right. And truthfully, I'm going to keep watching the show. I'm a sucker for a trainwreck. I just wish they'd bring weasle back!!! And I quote: "Can I get some Whiskey up in this biiitch?"

I wanna take you on a Stardate

2009-05-08T19:33:00.000-07:00

I just got back from seeing the new Star Trek movie, and I am wigging out. Yeah, the movie was THE BOMB, but that is not what I am talking about. The insanity that has me buggin has a name, and it is Spock & Jim. O-M-F-G. Am I admitting that I think dudes from a STAR TREK movie are attractive, nay, dimes?? I think so. I didn't want to admit it at first, but as the movie went on, I fell more and more in love. And don't even get me started on their love/hate relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love my bf more than anything, but in another galaxy I would gladly go where no man has gone before with these two honeys.

Also, Doctor Leonard a.k.a. Bones is a d-i-v-a. Two snaps!!

only in my dreams

2009-05-08T00:02:00.000-07:00

I need these in black. Need isn't even the right word for what's going on right now between me and these shoes. Marc by Marc Jacobs leather laced dance shoe with diamante detail. I breath for you. I look at you countless times during the week. I saw you once in an issue of Nylon a while back (again, don't judge), and I never thought I would see you again. But here you are. I love you so much.

Why can't I afford designer clothing? I would turn those shoes out.

i-n-d-e

2009-05-07T22:21:00.000-07:00

the strong black female in me is totally empowered by the following song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jnaRi4mANI

Dorrough, you know just what to say to remind me why i grind so hard, and i thank you. So beautiful are the words of a sensitive thug trying to show love the only way he knows how. It's no "you are appreciated," but that's really more of a mother's day song anyway.

don't you judge!

2009-05-07T15:28:00.000-07:00

I will begin this train wreck with the first of many of my obsessions: DANCING WITH THE STARS, Y'ALL!!!!! I have been watching this show for years. Yes, that's right - YEARS. And no, I am not ashamed. It has everything a lady like myself needs out of a "reality" show (I use that term very loosely). Glitz, ridiculous costumes, FIERCE dance moves, drama, scoring paddles, questionable sexuality, and a bevy of z-listed celebrities/musicians/bull riders/football players/sad hasbeens etc. Every week I get pissed because the judges (if you even wanna call them that) have the most insane scoring scale. I am sorry, but there is NO WAY on my version of Earth that this urban cowboy:

Competes with THE QUEEN BEE!!!

And I am not trying to hate too hard on Ty. He and his lady Jewel used to come in a hellish mexican cantina where I worked for a whole month, and they were quite pleasant. But I mean, come on. I don't watch DWTS to see Bud and Sissy two-step. I watch to see these people turn the beat around! These two are in different universes when it comes to how they get down. If the judges actually used the 1-10 scale accurately, then nutsacs like Cloris Leachman and Ty Murray wouldn't ruin my Monday nights every week. So Ty, I suggest you watch your back. Cause when you rumble with the Bee, you're gonna get stung.

STAY STRONG LIL KIM!

your editor's mission:

2009-05-07T14:06:00.000-07:00

hello. do you enjoy window shopping online for hours for clothes/junk you don't need, watching reality television until your eyes glaze over, and looking at tragic celebrity gossip to make you feel better about your own situation? well my name is rachel, and we are going to get along great if you answered yes to any of those questions. i promise you a good time here, so get ready to be turned out by Pecan Blog. I mean, it ain't trickin' if you got it.